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Wysłany: Śro 8:33, 30 Mar 2011 Temat postu: Cheap True Religion Boootcut Over-Analyzing Versus |
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If your partner is a generally kind and caring person, who only occasionally says something thoughtless, try not to focus too much of your time and energy on these rare insensitive remarks.
And when people shift from the role of participant to observer in their own intimate relationships, what they are actually doing is putting up their guard, or falling back on a common psychological defense mechanism known as intellectualization, for the purpose of shielding themselves from feeling emotionally exposed and vulnerable in the context of their relationships.
A wise person I know once said, "If two partners are spending every minute of the day discussing and analyzing the quality of their relationship, then they're probably not spending enough time actually living in their relationships and enjoying one another, and not even the best of relationships can survive such relentless scrutiny."
People Don't Like To Feel Scrutinized
On the other hand, there are exceptions to every rule, and if your partner exhibits an overall pattern of negative behavior-as opposed to rare little flashes of negative behavior here and there-then you actually do need to take a closer look at the relationship.
When I suggest that you consider fully inhabiting your relationship, I'm urging you to consider a more living-in-the-moment approach to your love life. For instance,True Religion Jeans Boys, if you want to be more "in the moment" with your significant other by giving him a soothing foot rub or back massage, then allow yourself to focus exclusively on that activity, nothing more and nothing less. Shut out your worries and light some candles to set a romantic mood.
"The unexamined life is not worth living," Socrates famously said. But when it comes to your love life, there are times when even a good thing like examining and analyzing the overall health of your relationship can actually be taken to an unhealthy extreme.
Are You An Analyst of-or An Active Participant in-Your Relationship?
A moderate amount of relationship analysis is fine, and even healthy, but it is also important to be fully engaged in your love life, that is, to be a deeply involved,True Religion Jeans Bootcut, active participant, instead of a clinical observer watching from a distance.
If you over-think your relationship, you run the risk of becoming more of an observer of than a participant in your own love life.
Take some full,Cheap True Religion Boootcut, deep breaths, first inhaling through your nos
Two Major Exceptions To This Rule
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One danger of relationship over-analysis is that if one person feels as if every move he makes is being excessively scrutinized by his partner, he may start feeling defensive, paranoid, and possibly even angry and resentful.
After all, we are all only human, which means that we sometimes say things that we later regret, so we must not judge each other -- or ourselves -- too harshly for every small infraction. In fact, a generous dose of forgiveness and understanding must be incorporated into any healthy, lasting intimate relationship.
For a good example of relationship over-analysis, watch an old Woody Allen movie from the 1970s, such as Annie Hall. Take note of how the characters are constantly analyzing every facet of their intimate relationships, dissecting all the minutiae of their love lives until they have nearly drained all the romance, joy, spontaneity, and mystery out of their relationships.
On a related note, if your relationship was once tender, affectionate, and highly communicative, but has recently become cold and distant, then this would be another case in which you would need to seriously analyze exactly what is going on. Under such circumstances, sometimes a professional therapist who specializes in couples counseling can be helpful.
No one wants to feel like a specimen under a microscope. It's unfair to place too much importance on a single throwaway statement or action by your partner.
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