dobso988rl
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Wysłany: Śro 3:54, 18 Maj 2011 Temat postu: cheap gucci belts Reaching Forgiveness |
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How can I forgive my spouse for cheating on me?”
“How can I forgive my best friend for abandoning me?”
“How can I face and forgive unforgiving abusers and manipulators?”
“How can I forgive myself when others do not forgive me and throw my past in my face every chance they get?”
These are some of the questions about forgiveness my clients have asked me over the 37 years that I have been a counselor.
We have all been told that forgiveness is good for the soul, and it is. Yet forgiveness cannot be forced. We cannot will ourselves to forgive, because if we try to deny the anger, blame and judgment that may still be there [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is likely to come out at some point. So how do we reach forgiveness?
Forgiveness toward others is the natural outcome of forgiving ourselves and of taking loving care of ourselves. When we judge ourselves [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we will have a tendency to project that judgment onto others, no matter how much we tell ourselves that we have forgiven them.
Let’s start with the first statement, “How can I forgive my parents when they were so abusive to me when I was growing up?” My experience is that as long as you continue to treat yourself in the abusive ways your parents may have treated you, you cannot reach forgiveness. It is your lack of self-care that perpetuates the anger toward others.
As adults, we each have a wonderful opportunity to learn to treat ourselves with the love, respect, caring and understanding that we may have lacked as children. When we don’t do this, the past becomes the present as we continue to abuse ourselves in the ways we may have been abused, and then continue to blame others for how we end up feeling as a result of our lack of self-care.
“How can I forgive my spouse for cheating on me?” You will not be able to forgive a spouse until you fully take responsibility for your participation in the relationship issues that may have contributed to the infidelity. There are always ways you did not listen to yourself or honor yourself that put you in the position of being betrayed. As you look deeply within and discover how you might have betrayed yourself and learn to forgive yourself, you may reach forgiveness for your spouse, even if you end up leaving the relationship.
“How can I forgive my best friend for abandoning me?” The world tends to mirror to us whatever is happening in our own inner system. When we feel abandoned by someone [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there is a good possibility that we have abandoned ourselves
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